I am pretty sure my entire life has been lived under the hovering cloud of the apocalypse. Sure there were moments of possibility – the fall of the wall, the election of Obama, the end of apartheid in South Africa. But mostly the global events we hear about focus on the end of civilization as we know it, albeit in small chunks at a time. It is still framed as disaster…. we are losing what we had and aren’t moving into a better world (except in small isolated ways). From AIDS to Bird Flu, from Rwanda genocide to Sudan and Burma, nuclear proliferation, the Gulf Coast disaster 2.0 (and Katrina as 1.0), Haiti (and so many other earthquakes, mud slides, volcanoes, and other weather/geological disasters for humans) – plus economic crisis and climate change, the extinction of so many species, and the war on terror (which just grows fear and terror) all converge – even for those of us who don’t watch the news. There is overpopulation, sex slaves, and child mortality issues as well as deforestation, crumbling infrastructure, and coach potatoes living in suburban nightmares. There are activists working cancer into their bodies with their martyr-like dedication. There are those in sedated near oblivion – zombie-living. There are hedonic wealth-seekers facing doom with greed and opulence. This is the story of crumbling and disintegration. Our globalized post-modern world tumbling through catastrophes.
We tell this story, and we have been telling this story, for my whole life. And the fear-mongering started long before I was born – the the cold war threatening nuclear annihilation for half a century.
I am tired of this story. I am tired of seeing faces worn down with the contraction of fear. I am weary of the negativity and desperation driving people to hate, divide, hoard, and fight. I am sick of finding out my government is justifying killing people in order to obtain more resources (because, I guess, we are in such a state of lack!).
We victimize ourselves, and in that suffering, we victimize others with our trauma.
Enough. Put it down. Don’t believe the hype. Don’t fight for a world you already gave up on.
Look for the flower emerging in the sidewalk – life pressing through without complaint or blame to assert its urge for sunlight. Nature is incredibly resilient and adaptive. Work within the world we have to co-create the world we want. Focus on what is going well and right, and encourage more of it. Breathe and be the serenity prayer.
Do not deny the brutal facts before us, but know that you see those facts through a filter of the story you are telling yourself (and others) about the world. You can transform that story and see those facts in a fresh light – from a different vantage point. Turn on the thrivability light, and recognize that life gives rise to more life. Never before in human history have we known a greater wealth of possibility.
After three days in Philadelphia discussing philanthropy and philanthropic strategies for transformation, I feel deeply convinced and inspired by a model I can see of thrivable philanthropy. Gerard calls it evolutionary philanthropy, and there might be some subtle distinctions. However, let me explain. And then I hope it will be more clear why our stories about our world could shift to transform our experience of it and the world itself.
Let’s call charity the work that we do to address immediate needs of others who can not, for whatever reason, care for themselves. It is as if you are standing on a riverbank, see a baby floating downstream, and you rush out to save the drowning child. Only, there are not enough people pulling drowning babies from the river, and the babies have suffered from being in the river. Our hearts break open. Some savvy volunteer wonders aloud – “who is tossing babies in this river?” And a crew of helpers decide to go upstream to find the cause. And they discover a system out of balance allowing babies to land in the river. They decide to change the system and set up programs to help mothers and advocate for social justice. We call this social change and social justice work. Still, babies are floating down the river. The philanthropist supporting this work starts to wonder – huh, what impact is my giving having? I want babies to stop ending up in the river – this is madness! And the social justice worker says – well, we think we have decreased the number of babies in the river, but this is a complex adaptive system so I can’t name all the causes and effects! I can’t clearly attribute your dollars having saved babies without acknowledging other programs and the dynamic changes in the system in which our town operates, babies are born, the economy shifts, and nature takes her course. We might have even changed our baby counting practices in a way that changed how many babies we can account for, which skewed the numbers giving an artificial bump. But we are not sure.
Then a thinker stands up and says – it is the very culture and beliefs in which we operate that give rise to these systems that aren’t taking care of all these babies. And the philanthropist has to choose now – either fund better metrics to know whether there is an impact… or fund cultural shift. And there are still babies in the river, and everyone’s hearts break open knowing it and seeing it. And they are sad.
Transforming culture takes longer, it is harder to measure, the complex dynamic system of it all makes it next to impossible to attribute agency clearly. And, it is where the greatest possibility for creating a culture that ever more deeply transforms itself, cares for each other and the whole, and enables the world we want.
What I learned from mystical language: In Search of Truth in a World of Language
It struck me in philosophy class. Ancient Philosophy. The year was 1993. Bang, how do you solve Zeno’s paradox? Hmmm, what is wrong with most philosophical questions? It came again in the course on knowing. A priori, A posteriori. Humbug.
We construct these arguments and logic with a language we created. It is meant to point to the world, but it is not a direct correlation with the world. Language is not bound to the same logic as the universe. If it was, we would not have A Wrinkle in Time or even the whole genre of Magical Realism. And yet, we play with this language, pointing toward a world we can’t really gain direct access to (it is always mediated through our senses and filtered through our culture… always and already. Inescapable).
And we can get some sort of post-modern laughter from it, sometimes slightly uncomfortable and disturbed laughter, and other times hilarious gaiety. Sure. However, unlike the laws of math or physics which strongly intend to accurately portray the world, language is not created to do so. It is not bounded, tied, strapped on to the world as it is. Instead language is the arrow we throw at what we sense and feel, the metaphors we use to describe experience, the expression of our creativity, and the communication medium of some of our emotions.
What can I know? Hmmm, answering that question means I have to answer the question “what do these words even mean?” I may describe something or make an assertion, but I can’t mistake that map for the territory. I am simply pointing toward and can never point directly at… My location isn’t fixed, the thing described isn’t fixed, and the relationship between the two isn’t fixed.
In graduate school, my first course was Language and Negativity. We studied a bit about mystical language. In particular the book Mystical Languages of Unsaying by Michael Sells. To know God by saying what he is not is to talk apophatically. To assert and then remove the assertion. God is all knowing, but he is not all knowing, he is more than that. We point toward the thing and then acknowledge it is not that thing at all, it is beyond that. It is something we can’t even point at directly. And really, this is how language works in relation to the world. We can point toward the world, but we can never surely say the world IS that or DOES that or PERFORMS that way. It seems as if…. From all that we know, it seems like the case that…. Transcend your paradigms of explanation.
Where does this leave us? Living in paradox? Living with approximation? Truth as the most useful thing we can understand and communicate. Does this mean we should rest, dejected and surely wrong about our approximations? No, just as Bonjour argued that while we might be brains in a vat, it is highly improbable that we are; it is highly probable that we are pointing ever closer to the thing we really mean to approach. Asymptotically. We strive for ever more accurate approximations. Always understanding that the truth is likely between or beyond our language.
or What I learned from mystical language: In Search of Truth in a World of Language
It struck me in philosophy class. Ancient Philosophy. The year was 1993. Bang, how do you solve Zeno’s dichotomy paradox? Hmmm, what is wrong with most philosophical questions? It came again in the course on knowing. A priori, A posteriori. Humbug.
We construct these arguments and logic with a language we created. It is meant to point to the world, but it is not a direct correlation with the world. Language is not bound to the same logic as the universe. If it was, we would not have A Wrinkle in Time or even the whole genre of Magical Realism. And yet, we play with this language, pointing toward a world we can’t really gain direct access to (it is always mediated through our senses and filtered through our culture… always and already. Inescapable).
And we can get some sort of post-modern laughter from it: sometimes slightly uncomfortable and disturbed laughter and other times hilarious gaiety. Sure. However, unlike the laws of physics which strongly intend to accurately portray the world, language is not created to do so. It is not bounded, tied, strapped on to the world as it is. Instead language is the arrow we throw at what we sense and feel, the metaphors we use to describe experience, the expression of our creativity, and the communication medium of some of our emotions.
What can I know? Hmmm, answering that question means I have to answer the question “what do these words even mean?” I may describe something or make an assertion, but I can’t mistake that map for the territory. I am simply pointing toward and can never point directly at… My location isn’t fixed, the thing described isn’t fixed, and the relationship between the two isn’t fixed.
In graduate school, my first course was Language and Negativity. We studied a bit about mystical language. In particular the book Mystical Languages of Unsaying by Michael Sells. To know God by saying what he is not is to talk apophatically. To assert and then remove the assertion: God is all knowing, but he is not all knowing, he is more than that. We point toward the thing and then acknowledge it is not that thing–it is beyond that. It is something we can’t even point at directly. And really, this is how language works in relation to the world. We can point toward the world, but we can never surely say the world IS that or DOES that or PERFORMS that way. It seems as if…. From all that we know, it seems like the case that…. Transcend your paradigms of explanation. They are already and always formed through a fallible language of approximation.
Where does this leave us? Living in paradox? Living with approximation? Truth as the most useful thing we can understand and communicate. Does this mean we should rest, dejected and surely wrong about our approximations? No, just as Lawrence BonJour argued that while we might be brains in a vat, it is highly improbable that we are; it is highly probable that we are pointing ever closer to the thing we really mean to approach. Asymptotically. We strive for ever more accurate approximations. Always understanding that the truth is likely between or beyond our language.
The conference is ending, and I am leave right before the final dinner. Vans take us to the train station. I plug in my ticket confirmation number to the machine to get my ticket printed. (Someone points out the little British flag, so it displays in English.) However, I can’t read my ticket – which word is train car and which one is seat? No matter, someone is always around to help kindly with these things. I sit in a strange glassed in area of first class. In my compartment at the table is a gentleman from Switzerland who works with an international labor organization, Mertin. He was raised in Bolivia, schooled in Germany, and now lives in Geneva. We talk all the way to Stockholm (over 2 hours). I learn all about his organization, his travels, and his city. We discuss thrivability, microfinance, and effective training and development programs (on and offline).
I arrive in Stockholm around 7pm. I am tired. Not as tired as you might imagine I would be, but tired. I have not prepared. I don’t have a clear map to Nadia’s place. My phone isn’t working properly. I give up calling her, and I take a taxi to her address. However, ringing her doorbell has no effect. I sit on my luggage looking around at this strange city. My technology is failing me. Foreign rates on data while roaming are significant, so I don’t turn data options on. What to do?
I pull out my computer and search for free and open wifi. Luckily, I find some. (You usually can in residential areas – some kind soul leaves it open.) I use skype to contact Nadia. She comes to the door apologizing for not giving me the code to get in. And immediately everything feels in flow again. We drop my stuff in her place before going out to eat. The restaurant she wants to take me to has a sign saying “gone for long weekend” on it. So we head to our second choice. Huh, gone for long weekend? What a quirky place! I like it. We eat Indian (although they say they are about to close, they stay open for us).
I met Nadia about a year ago. She wrote the page on Power in the Thrivability book. I asked her to write to that because when I met her, it was so evident to me that she exudes it and understands how it flows. She studied user interface and design, and that makes total sense when you get a sense of how much she understands about cognitive science. She is brilliant, beautiful, charming, and funny. We talk about Swedish politics, mutual friends we adore, generational change, and human dynamics. We dig into each others stories as dessert. We have drinks in a place where all the customers are women (accidentally).
We stay up until 3am laughing and talking in her apartment. When we awake in the morning there is just enough time for a shower and walk before I head to the train again. Off to Malmo. But first, a walk by the water. Stockholm is a city of water – there are many islands. We walk past a military fort where soldiers in odd costumes (like band uniforms) march in a line while people lounge in the grass on the other side of our path. the grass is full of sunbathers of all ages, gazing out at the water where many boats float. One boat has a set of couples eating pretty formally at a table. It is so picturesque.
We walk too far, and we are pressed for time getting back. Instead of taking the subway, we order a taxi. Nadia sees me off at the train station once she has fixed the ticket. (I could not buy the ticket in Sweden – something about them knowing it was a US buyer…ordering from a Swedish IP?) So Nadia had bought my ticket for me, and there was some trouble transferring it from her mobile ticket to a paper ticket for me. We work it out though.
Now I have a 5 hour train ride to Malmo….
The conference is ending, and I am leave right before the final dinner. Vans take us to the train station. I plug in my ticket confirmation number to the machine to get my ticket printed. (Someone points out the little British flag, so it displays in English.) However, I can’t read my ticket – which word is train car and which one is seat? No matter, someone is always around to help kindly with these things. I sit in a strange glassed in area of first class. In my compartment at the table is a gentleman from Switzerland who works with an international labor organization, Mertin. He was raised in Bolivia, schooled in Germany, and now lives in Geneva. We talk all the way to Stockholm (over 2 hours). I learn all about his organization, his travels, and his city. We discuss thrivability, microfinance, and effective training and development programs (on and offline).
I arrive in Stockholm around 7pm. I am tired. Not as tired as you might imagine I would be, but tired. I have not prepared. I don’t have a clear map to Nadia’s place. My phone isn’t working properly. I give up calling her, and I take a taxi to her address. However, ringing her doorbell has no effect. I sit on my luggage looking around at this strange city. My technology is failing me. Foreign rates on data while roaming are significant, so I don’t turn data options on. What to do?
I pull out my computer and search for free and open wifi. Luckily, I find some. (You usually can in residential areas – some kind soul leaves it open.) I use skype to contact Nadia. She comes to the door apologizing for not giving me the code to get in. And immediately everything feels in flow again. We drop my stuff in her place before going out to eat. The restaurant she wants to take me to has a sign saying “gone for long weekend” on it. So we head to our second choice. Huh, gone for long weekend? What a quirky place! I like it. We eat Indian (although they say they are about to close, they stay open for us).
I met Nadia about a year ago. She wrote the page on Power in the Thrivability book. I asked her to write to that because when I met her, it was so evident to me that she exudes it and understands how it flows. She studied user interface and design, and that makes total sense when you get a sense of how much she understands about cognitive science. She is brilliant, beautiful, charming, and funny. We talk about Swedish politics, mutual friends we adore, generational change, and human dynamics. We dig into each others stories as dessert. We have drinks in a place where all the customers are women (accidentally).
We stay up until 3am laughing and talking in her apartment. When we awake in the morning there is just enough time for a shower and walk before I head to the train again.
Off to Malmo. But first, a walk by the water. Stockholm is a city of water – there are many islands. We walk past a military fort where soldiers in odd costumes (like band uniforms) march in a line while people lounge in the grass on the other side of our path.
The grass is full of sunbathers of all ages, gazing out at the water where many boats float. One boat has a set of couples eating pretty formally at a table. It is so picturesque.
We walk too far, and we are pressed for time getting back. Instead of taking the subway, we order a taxi. Nadia sees me off at the train station once she has fixed the ticket. (I could not buy the ticket in Sweden – something about them knowing it was a US buyer…ordering from a Swedish IP?) So Nadia had bought my ticket for me, and there was some trouble transferring it from her mobile ticket to a paper ticket for me. We work it out though.
Now I have a 5 hour train ride to Malmo….
https://thrivable.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/TS-Right-Horizontal-Full-Color-1920x1080-Logo-Padding-300x228.png00Thriverhttps://thrivable.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/TS-Right-Horizontal-Full-Color-1920x1080-Logo-Padding-300x228.pngThriver2010-06-13 04:12:422010-06-13 04:12:42Europe Tour Post 4
Last night was quite a sight. First, it doesn’t get dark here until past midnight and starts getting light by 3am. So when I say sight, I mean you can see clearly. I also mean to say – there was something to see. The 1700 participants at Rework are housed between three cities – in cottages, hostels, and hotels. These are small towns. I am staying in Leksand Strand, a 2.5 km walk from the event. We take buses at the end of the evening. I sit down next to Issac from Ghana. He and his pal Gabi (from Cameroon)are here as part of a ten person multiple country team to talk and learn about youth, ecology, and entrepreneurship. I share a bit about thrivability. Isaac is convinced I should talk to the World Bank guy that arranged for him to be here. He is animated and enthusiastic. When his contact calls, he hands me the phone. I agree to meet this gentleman later.
A bus of people arrives, and we all have to find our shared rooms. The staff has a non-alphabetized list which has changed from the plans they sent out to some earlier. It is chaos. A long line. Another bus arrives. The line is longer. Line-mates start to talk. We start to brainstorm how we are going to improve the situation. One person says we should just go to a room – whatever room – and go to bed. Maybe we should organize ourselves to make it easier on the staff. They try to improve it by opening a second desk, but the light is not quite good enough to read by and everyone wants to see it at the same time. However, this, I think, is actually a wonderful opportunity to get to know people near me. The woman behind me is Elina. She is a student in Southern Sweden. She has a warm and easy way about her, which makes her delightful to talk with. Eventually, I get my cabin number and go to my cabin. The door is locked. I have to run back, push through the line and ask for a key. Someone from staff takes a golf cart over to the cabin and opens the door. My cabin-mate is sleeping already.
In the morning, she is in my group for the nature walk. After breakfast, we form into small groups of about 10. A guide takes us into the nature reserve next to our cottages. We walk together, then in pairs, then in single line. We pause by Lake Siljan. We focus on our senses. First of skin, feeling the wind, our clothes, and feel of the ground. Then we focus on sound, sight, smell and taste. Our guide is specific about something to sense, so we can really focus on the sensation. Then she invites us to have our own sense experience. Next we bring in the symphony of all the senses.
The landscape reminds me of Minnesota – the land softened by glaciers and full of lakes. The climate is cold, and the trees are mostly birch, pines and cedars. There are woodland flowers blooming, and the sun creates sparkly speckled ground, as it is filtered through the trees, with their bright green branch tips.
Our guide gives us space to sit alone with nature. Later I discover that Elina has a sunny spot. Mine spot was a tad chilly. I sit calmly and meditate for 15 minutes. This is a divine experience. So later, when I am at the conference, I get quickly tired of being talked at. I even grow tired of the open space that forms on the lawn outside a session grown too full. I walk away to sit in the grass and just BE. Reflect. Soak it in.
But first… Hans Rosling speaks. His talk is amazing. I have tracked his work for over 5 years now, so I didn’t expect anything new. But it was fresh! He didn’t use powerpoint to start it – he used some big boxes to represent a billion people each. How many billions can afford shoes? A bicycle? A plane trip to Malta? 50 years ago? Now? In the future? Then he showed gapminder, revealing how those people can be divided by age ranges and locations. Fascinating. If you haven’t seen it, be sure to explore.
Bo Ekman interviews Elinor Ostrom. I am so excited to hear Elinor speak live. But no, Bo went on and on about things.. and finally, when he gave her the floor, it was all too brief. Very disappointing. Not Elinor mind you, just the way it was handled. And one of the questions she was asked at the end, got a really interesting answer that sticks with me. Someone asked, “What models do you think work?” And Elinor replied something to the effect of – we are in trouble as soon as we have models… Days later I would point to it again and again – we prototype, then practice, then prototype again. Let us be agile rather than static. I even think this is a piece of holding thrivability – it is not a static plan or set of practices – instead it is an aim, where we will evolve our plans and practices over time. Practice with me.
For lunch, I walk over to the meal tent with Cilia. She does intercultural awareness work with organizations and has her MBA from the Bainbridge Graduate Institute. This event speaks to her. We sit together to talk more. Our seats are with two friendly folks – an Ecuadorian (originally from Kentucky) and an Australian (management consultant). The older gentleman from Ecuador has a school there, about 2 hours canoe trip… And he knows of the Twists and the Pachamama Alliance (mutual connections abound in the oddest places). The conversation moves focus from one person to another. The discussion is lively. We discuss thrivability as a concept, testing out each person’s feel for it. (This happens in nearly every conversation I enter – people want to play with the idea. And I am happy to engage.)
In the afternoon, I have been sitting in the HUB popup rather than attending sessions. I didn’t come to this conference because of the speakers. I came to meet people. So meeting is what I am doing. Christina Jordan, from Brussels, says that Simon from the HUB in Brussels is at the HUB popup. I introduce myself. And then I meet Jay Standish. It is funny to meet people you already follow on twitter. After a half hour of talking, we had uncovered dozens of mutual connections and interests. Niclas Ihren meets me there too. Then Juan Carlos is there, standing at the Zanby desk talking with Leif. What? I had to take a deep breath. I met Juan Carlos in Mexico in March of 2008. Could it get richer? Oh yes, so then Jay knows Juan Carlos too. So all of us go together to dinner. And we are going to sit with someone Juan Carlos knows names Morel Fourman. It is a small world. Morel is with Gaiasoft (where my friend Mushin works). This is all magical. The conversation is fast and intense. We hear Juan Carlos speak his idea, and we discuss it.
Then there is dancing… to Saulti Sol. Time to play…
June 3 – Thursday – Reworking the World
Last night was quite a sight. First, it doesn’t get dark here until past midnight and starts getting light by 3am. So when I say sight, I mean you can see clearly. I also mean to say – there was something to see. The 1700 participants at Rework are housed between three cities – in cottages, hostels, and hotels. These are small towns. I am staying in Leksand Strand, a 2.5 km walk from the event. We take buses at the end of the evening. I sit down next to Issac from Ghana. He and his pal Gabi (from Cameroon) are here as part of a ten person multiple country team to talk and learn about youth, ecology, and entrepreneurship. I share a bit about thrivability. Isaac is convinced I should talk to the World Bank guy that arranged for him to be here. He is animated and enthusiastic. When his contact calls, he hands me the phone. I agree to meet this gentleman later.
A bus of people arrives, and we all have to find our shared rooms. The staff has a non-alphabetized list which has changed from the plans they sent out to some earlier. It is chaos. A long line. Another bus arrives. The line is longer. Line-mates start to talk. We start to brainstorm how we are going to improve the situation. One person says we should just go to a room – whatever room – and go to bed. Maybe we should organize ourselves to make it easier on the staff. They try to improve it by opening a second desk, but the light is not quite good enough to read by. Everyone wants to see it at the same time. However, this, I think, is actually a wonderful opportunity to get to know people near me. The woman behind me is Elina. She is a student in Southern Sweden. She has a warm and easy way about her, which makes her delightful to talk with. Eventually, I get my cabin number and go to my cabin. The door is locked. I have to run back, push through the line, and ask for a key. Someone from staff takes a golf cart over to the cabin and opens the door. My cabin-mate is sleeping already.
In the morning, Elina is in my group for the nature walk. After breakfast, we form into small groups of about a dozen. A guide takes us into the nature reserve next to our cottages. We walk together, then in pairs, then in single line. We pause by Lake Siljan. We focus on our senses. First of skin, feeling the wind, our clothes, and feel of the ground. Then we focus on sound, sight, smell and taste. Our guide is specific about something to sense, so we can really focus on the sensation. Then she invites us to have our own sense experience. Next we bring in the symphony of all the senses.
The landscape reminds me of Minnesota – the land softened by glaciers and full of lakes. The climate is cold, and the trees are mostly birch, pines and cedars. There are woodland flowers blooming, and the sun creates sparkly speckled ground, as it is filtered through the trees, with their bright green branch tips.
We each meditate at a distance from each other for 20 minutes. Sublime peace.
Our guide gives us space to sit alone with nature. Later I discover that Elina has a sunny spot. Mine spot was a tad chilly. I sit calmly, soaking it all in. This is a divine experience. So later, when I am at the conference, I get quickly tired of being talked at. I even grow tired of the open space that forms on the lawn outside a session grown too full. I walk away to sit in the grass and just BE. Reflect. Soak it in.
But first…the conference. Hans Rosling speaks. His talk is amazing. I have tracked his work for over 5 years now, so I didn’t expect anything new. But it was fresh! He didn’t use powerpoint to start it – he used some big boxes to represent a billion people each. How many billions can afford shoes? A bicycle? A plane trip to Malta? He uses giant props for shoes, a bicycle, and a plane. What about demographics 50 years ago? Now? In the future? Then he showed gapminder, revealing how those people can be divided by age ranges and locations. Fascinating. If you haven’t seen it, be sure to explore.
Bo Ekman interviews Elinor Ostrom. I am so excited to hear Elinor speak live. But no, Bo went on and on about things.. and finally, when he gave her the floor, it was all too brief. Very disappointing. Not Elinor mind you, just the way it was handled. And one of the questions she was asked at the end, got a really interesting answer that sticks with me. Someone asked, “What models do you think work?” And Elinor replied something to the effect of – we are in trouble as soon as we have models… Days later I would point to it again and again – we prototype, then practice, then prototype again. Let us be agile rather than static. I even think this is a piece of holding thrivability – it is not a static plan or set of practices – instead it is an aim, where we will evolve our plans and practices over time. Practice with me.
For lunch, I walk over to the meal tent with Cilia. She does intercultural awareness work with organizations and has her MBA from the Bainbridge Graduate Institute. This event clearly speaks to her. We sit together to talk more. Our seats are with two friendly folks – an Ecuadorian (originally from Kentucky) and an Australian (management consultant). The older gentleman from Ecuador has a school there, about 2 hours canoe trip… And he knows of Bill and Lynn Twist and the Pachamama Alliance (mutual connections abound in the oddest places). The conversation moves focus from one person to another. The discussion is lively. We discuss thrivability as a concept, testing out each person’s feel for it. (This happens in nearly every conversation I enter – people want to play with the idea. And I am happy to engage.)
In the afternoon, I have been sitting in the HUB popup rather than attending sessions. I didn’t come to this conference because of the speakers. I came to meet people. So meeting is what I am doing. Christina Jordan, from Brussels, says that Simon from the HUB in Brussels is at the HUB popup. I introduce myself. And then I meet Jay Standish. It is funny (brain tickles) to meet – accidentally – people you already follow on twitter. After a half hour of talking, we had uncovered dozens of mutual connections and interests. Niclas Ihren meets me there too. Then Juan Carlos is there, standing at the Zanby desk talking with Leif. What? I had to take a deep breath. I met Juan Carlos in Mexico in March of 2008. Could it get richer? Oh yes, so then Jay knows Juan Carlos too. So all of us go together to dinner. And we are going to sit with someone Juan Carlos knows names Morel Fourman. It is a small world. Morel is with Gaiaspace (where my friend Mushin works). This is all magical. The conversation is fast and intense. We hear Juan Carlos speak his idea, and we discuss it. Brilliant!
Then there is dancing… to Saulti Sol. Time to play…
https://thrivable.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/TS-Right-Horizontal-Full-Color-1920x1080-Logo-Padding-300x228.png00Thriverhttps://thrivable.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/TS-Right-Horizontal-Full-Color-1920x1080-Logo-Padding-300x228.pngThriver2010-06-13 03:37:122010-06-13 03:37:12Europe Tour Post 2
I am sitting in seat 32 of a bus I didn’t plan to take. This is an accident. However, 32 is my lucky number, so let’s say it is a happy accident. I sat here without knowing I was choosing my lucky number. And so it goes. We often don’t even know when happy accidents happen. A whole series of them brought me here. This is Stockholm. I am on a bus instead of a train to Leksand for the ReWork the World conference.
Background: This conference is put on, in part, by the Tallberg Foundation. I heard about them about a year ago when my friend Leif Utne attended the Tallberg Forum. Someone mentioned thrivability to the Executive Director of the Tallberg Foundation, Niclas Ihren. And Hans Peter Meyer notified me of a quote from his response. I will see Leif and Niclas here… many months later. Both contributed to the Thrivability book.
I sat with Rufina on the bus. She sat in 31 and introduced herself. We explored our passions and purpose, eventually discovering that she was at NTEN and knew Beth Kanter and several other social media nonprofit tech folks.
We arrived at the arena after the first round of talks (from Leksand Major…).
Poonam Ahluwalia (President, Youth Entrepreneurship and Sustainability, USA) and Carl Mossfeldt (Executive Vice President, Tällberg Foundation, Sweden) present the vision of the summit.
Includes a welcome to Leksand and Dalarna from Ulrika Liljeberg (Mayor of Leksand, Sweden) and Julia Tollin (Young Enterprise, Dalarna).
Just in time to get some water, settle in, and listen to Majora Carter (President, Majora Carter Group, USA). Who I immediately recognize from her TED talk. She talks about The South Bronx. “We can pretend we don’t live here…. or we can be a part of the solution and stay.” Bronx Environmental Stewardship Training – green jobs program.
Hey, I agree. It is our one earth. There is no planet B. (Thank Hans Peter Meyer for the sign). We can pretend we don’t live here on the ground of earth… or we can be part of the solution and stay.
I am sitting in seat 32 of a bus I didn’t plan to take. This is an accident. However, 32 is my lucky number, so let’s say it is a happy accident. I sat here without knowing I was choosing my lucky number. And so it goes. We often don’t even know when happy accidents happen. A whole series of them brought me here. This is Stockholm. I am on a bus rather than the intended train to Leksand. We go to the ReWork the World conference.
Background: This conference is put on, in part, by the Tallberg Foundation. I heard about them about a year ago when my friend Leif Utne attended the Tallberg Forum. Someone mentioned thrivability to Niclas Ihren of the Tallberg Foundation. Hans Peter Meyer notified me of a quote from his response. I will see Leif and Niclas here. Both contributed to the Thrivability book.
I sat with Rufina on the bus. She sat in 31 and introduced herself. We explored our passions and purpose, eventually discovering that she was at NTEN and knew Beth Kanter and several other social media nonprofit tech folks.
We arrived at the arena after the first round of talks. Just after Poonam Ahluwalia (President, Youth Entrepreneurship and Sustainability, USA) and Carl Mossfeldt (Executive Vice President, Tällberg Foundation, Sweden) presented the vision of the summit. [Including a welcome to Leksand and Dalarna from Ulrika Liljeberg (Mayor of Leksand, Sweden) and Julia Tollin (Young Enterprise, Dalarna).]
And, just in time to get some water, settle in, and listen to Majora Carter (President, Majora Carter Group, USA). I immediately recognized this passionate woman from her TED talk. She talks about The South Bronx. “We can pretend we don’t live here…. or we can be a part of the solution and stay.” See the Bronx Environmental Stewardship Training – green jobs program.
Hey, I agree. It is our one earth. There is no planet B. (Thank Hans Peter Meyer for the sign). We can pretend we don’t live here on the ground of earth… or we can be part of the solution and stay.
ps. Loved Majora saying something like: I see you there and know my time is up. You will give me 2 more minutes, and I promise you will be happy about it.
thanks to HansPeterMeyer
https://thrivable.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/TS-Right-Horizontal-Full-Color-1920x1080-Logo-Padding-300x228.png00Thriverhttps://thrivable.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/TS-Right-Horizontal-Full-Color-1920x1080-Logo-Padding-300x228.pngThriver2010-06-06 13:37:232010-06-06 13:37:23Europe Tour Post 1
Social Media is transformative and magnificent. It is also time consuming for most people, and it can lead to relationship overwhelm. You find so many amazing people out there who share your belief, interests, passions, and humor.
If you are trying to create more space in your life for what matters most to you, here are 5 ways you can save yourself from relationship overwhelm.
Time allocation. Create office hours – during a set time, you connect to people. Maybe it is 8-9am or 4-5pm every day. Maybe it is 2 days a week. How many hours do you want to give it? Maybe you have 5 hours a week, and you track how many you use. Experiment to find the method of time management that fits you and your lifestyle. Do what works.
Rings of priority – who is in the center, who is on the periphery? Make sure to give time to those people that really matter. Filter your social media feeds, so you always can see what they are up to. Be clear with yourself what your criteria are for being near that center loop of connections. The periphery is important too, as a resource for bringing in new information. Find balance for yourself. Don’t cut it off…but don’t get lost there either. What will help you hold that? Is it a container of time? A medium of communication?
Make a request. Share with your network your aim to manage your relationships so you can be a better friend and contributor. Say something like, “I cherish you and the wonderful connections I have, AND, in order to be a better friend, I want to be more careful about how I am giving attention. Can you please consider if contacting me is urgent, important, or valuable? I hope this helps us improve the quality of our connection.”
Make REGULAR sacred space – no tech, all family, or even all alone time. Hold it as your recharge time. Budge anything on your calendar before you give this up. Think of it as your morning oatmeal. Without it, you can’t bring your best self to the world. I don’t mean sacred as in religious practice. I mean sacred as in – never give this up. You are too important in your life not to make time for yourself. I have done this for years, and found it really rewarding. Oh, and do communicate to your connections that you have this boundary so they can respect it. They will hold it ONLY to the degree that you take it seriously.
Think in longer time frames and make daily decisions on those frames (and not the minute to minute ones). Think of what you want your life to be like over the next 5 years. What can you do today that helps you have that life? What is un-necessary, superfluous, repetitive (doing it twice or more isn’t adding value or enjoyment)? Imagine wiping your calendar completely free. No obligations. What do you want really and truly to add back in? (This often happens when you have a major crisis happen – it gives you permission to start over.)
“What are you going to do with this one wild and precious life?” ~ Mary Oliver
https://thrivable.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/TS-Right-Horizontal-Full-Color-1920x1080-Logo-Padding-300x228.png00Thriverhttps://thrivable.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/TS-Right-Horizontal-Full-Color-1920x1080-Logo-Padding-300x228.pngThriver2010-05-18 13:23:352010-05-18 13:23:355 Ways to Save Yourself from Relationship Overwhelm
When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was determined to have a drug free and very conscious birthing process. My son had been 10 and a half pounds. Giving birth to him in a handful of powerful pushes both tore up my body and freckled my face with broken blood vessels. I was half dazed with pain-killers, and I was certainly not fully present to the experience.
How, I wondered, am I going to navigate this better? So I read a bunch of books – on meditation and visualization as well as birthing. One of the relevant things I learned is that we often respond to pain with fear, which makes us contract. In childbirth (and in the body in general) this means that the muscles tighten up. Which leads to more pain, which leads to more tightening… just when we need to be most open and relaxed. We go against ourselves.
I had learned, as a young horsewoman, to relax my body. To send a message to the animal that it can relax too. So I had some small sense of what this was like. For childbirth, I had to ramp that up significantly. I practiced relaxing every part of my body. I did breathing and meditation exercises. I did yoga, hoping to make my body more supple. I wasn’t one of those highly structured people that did things at set intervals, but I kept at it in my meandering but persistent way.
I succeeded. I thought of the pain as warmth, turned it in my mind into warm light. My daughter was born on this ray of light. I do not think of it as pain at all, although you might say my neurons were firing that way. I was very aware and present to it. I was grateful for the gift of her and treasuring each moment (without judgment, for what it was).
Now I use this process in other domains of my life. When I feel fear and want to contract, I intentionally open and release. When I feel my needs are not met, rather than shutting down or closing up – or telling stories about it – I become more direct and precise in making requests or sharing my experience. Sometimes it takes a little time to turn around, but I always get there.
I get that it seems contradictory. Yet, I have to say it works so well so consistently. That doesn’t mean I don’t experience fear or contraction. I do. It just doesn’t stay around very long. Usually within hours if not minutes, I can shift to being more wide open, curious, and direct.
How do you navigate contraction in your life? How do you transform it? How did you learn how to do so?
Friday I attended a little performance my daughter and her class did for the mothers. It was, of course, truly heartwarming to see my daughter perform. She loves to sing, and she emanates pride in herself. However, these songs and poems often felt odd to me. One piece talked about Mom being someone who makes cookies. Huh, when was the last time we made cookies together. Sure, we do it sometimes, but this is not what I think motherhood is about. To me motherhood is about deeply loving someone no matter what for who they are at every level in every nook of their being. My children fascinate me. I try to let go of my ideas of who they might become and allow them to be just who they are.
That is not to say that I do not try to shape and guide them. My service to them is to equip them in ways that will serve them and our society (since these things are intricately linked) over the long haul. I try to hold this as a conversation between their being or nature and the way the world appears to work to me. This has nothing to do with the sugar in cookies, right?
My job as their mother is to give them love and support as they navigate the world. As their mother, I strive to empower them with the knowledge, savvy, and joy to move with grace through a complex world.
And you may wonder why this is my approach to mothering… well, because in so many ways, this is what my mother did for me. She had a light hand in my daily activity, offered adoring love and yet held high standards, modeled grace, and she trusted me to navigate my world. Sure, at times she would intervene explaining what she could intuit from a situation. However, most of the time, she let me explore on my own: explore nature, people, myself, our library, my spirituality, and my life path. She and I see two different worlds when we look out from our hazel eyes, and I am sure my children will perceive a world I can’t know from their hazel eyes. She let me inhabit my world, and in turn I try to let my children inhabit their world and their lives fully. And may we each and all serve and co-create a world the future generations can explore too.
To my mother on this mother’s day, for her amazing elegance and grace in navigating her world and preparing me to navigate mine. She already has an abundance of flowers. This gift of care for Mama Lucy and the children she cares for feels like something that my mother will really appreciate with her huge heart. If you would like to create a heart space for an amazing and inspiring mother in your life, please visit http://www.tomamawithlove.org.
The HUB Berkeley, Friday April 9th at noon
Berkeley, CA
Brown Bag lunch with Jean Russell, curator of Thrivability: A Collaborative Sketch. Jean will present and discuss flash collaboration. She used this process to involve 70 collaborators from across the world in producing an ebook in less than 90 days. The ebook was repeatedly a top “twittered” and “facebooked” item on Slideshare. It is approaching 5000 views in less than 3 weeks. It is cash positive on a generosity model. She will point to successful ways of using social media to both develop and launch a project, as well as project management for flash collaborations. Take away ideas on how to collaborate with your network for tangible and visible results.
I had the pleasure of chatting with Bill Liao today. We covered a lot of ground in 30 minutes, manuevering into alignment on the language of happiness and what thrivability is and looks like.
One of my takeaways from the conversation is the reminder of how critical multiple perspectives are. We discussed how some words have so many different meanings in them – like happiness, truth, justice, and beauty. For me these words are next to meaningless because they mean such different things to different people. Bill is a fan of etymology.
We discussed the etymology of science. Science derives from scire, which means to discern or to cut into smaller pieces. And while I value very highly the wisdom science brings, it also can reduce things to parts. Part of thrivability, to me, is about unity, interconnected systems, and whole-ness.Can we see the world as both whole and parts? It reminds of this lovely piece by Kevin Clark about intention in the Thrivability: A Collaborative Sketch ebook.
A whole. And parts which are whole in themselves. Multiple perspectives. Being able to hold many perspectives at the same time can feel paradoxical. Like a good zen nugget. Can we see the world from the perspective of a child? A tree? An atom? A brain wave? A diplomat? A starving mother? An entrepreneur? A convict? A farmer? An anthropologist? When we can hold this, we begin to understand the flows of exchange and demand, of gift and grace.
In my coaching practice, when someone is inside something so much that it reduces their resourcefulness, we play a little zooming game. It is often as if we are looking through a microscope at what is before us. And seeing it from across the room or through someone else’s eyes, or from a different timespan or place altogether allows us to detach enough emotionally to find our resourcefulness again. This is about gaining perspective. 🙂
Another coaching tool, especially useful for when we have tensions with another person, is to step into different perspectives of the situation. What does it look like if you are in their position? What does it look like to a witness? What does it look like to you when you are in a different state of mind? What does it look like in the future after you a successfully resolve it? What does it look like to your mentor?
Bill shared a lovely story about an artist asking a biologist about viewing a flower. The artist presumes that because the biologist knows the internal workings of the flower, that the biologist can’t see the forest for the trees – can’t see the flower for its parts. The biologist replies, but no… I can both see the beauty of the flower and the beauty of the internal workings of the flower.
Being able to hold multiple perspectives gives us a richness of experience, a resourcefulness in our choicemaking, and a greater peace of mind.
